Fuck winter. I'm over this. I want to go back to wearing sleeveless t-shirts and cut off shorts. ANYWAY, on with our countdown of the best moments of 2009.
Best Show in Albuquerque - Fucked Up at the Launchpad
They played a great set, including a bunch of old songs off of their "We only do 7inch" Days. $1.50 PBR led to Devin announcing to the crowd after the show "I'm the drunkest dude here!" and a round of applause for the guy.
Best Party - CJ's Birthday Party/Lo's Going Away Party/Jon's Birthday Party/CJ'sRasta Coming Out Party
The keg still tapped out at the usual 11:45pm, but there were too many awesome friends around for me to give a shit. Plus, I was really, really drunk. Secret weed smoke sessions just helped to hit it home.
Best Road Trip - Blue Hole.
I miss Blue Hole.
Best Trip to the Bars - Pickett's 21st birthday.
Watching him hit on a cocktail waitress, be confounded by an Irish Car Bomb and then projectile vomit once we got home turned out to be too tough of a trip to beat.
Best House - Hands down, this has to go to Zack and Guido's "Storm Shelter".
The Taylair had way too many lame ass parties. If you went to the Storm Shelter, you were always guaranteed to get drunk and sing a long to some awesome song with your friends. If it was a shitty night, that meant Alan was in town picking the songs off the itunes.
This is City Councilor Don Harris from District 9 of Albuquerque. District 9 is roughly East of Eubank and South of Menaul and Indian School. If you live there, let me tell you how sorry I am that you get to be represented by this moron. According to this weeks edition of The Alibi's Council Bite, Don here doesn't believe in Climate Change or Global Warming.
What the fuck? Mother fucker, it's two thousand-fucking-nine. Maybe you could get away with that shit in 1993, or even 2004, but when EVERY SCIENTIST AND EVERYONE WITH A WORKING CEREBRAL CORTEX has figured out that that human activity is affecting the Earth's climate. Fuck, dude, Richard Nixon even signed environmental legislation and that guy was waaaaaay more of an asshole than I think you are.
So, Don, I think its time you get with the fucking program. Albuquerque is in a good spot to really get on the front lines of this whole Green Economy. We got a metric shit ton of sun, wind and federal laboratories in this state. If you fuck this up for all of us, we won't just be a high desert anymore. We'll be a vast wasteland that only Mel Gibson and his band of under dressed child minions will be able to traverse. Quit being an idiot, and make my town more energy efficient.
Fuck you. We do not like living out of our cars and friend's apartments because you don't know what responsibility is. Fuck off and if you come within 5 miles of any of us, we will stab you.
Love,
CJ, Pickett, Chris Romero, Armani, and Aaron Romero
1. Everyone who makes more money than a teacher will be forced to wear a dinosaur costume to work with the following exceptions- soccer and hockey players. The idea of people playing every other sport dressed as a Big Foot or Sharp Tooth is too awesome.
2. A new national anthem will be written and preformed by the Wu-Tang Clan. It will be nothing to fuck with.
3. The budget will be rearranged so that the amount we spend on the military will be switched with how much the US National Soccer Team gets.
4. Public Transportation will now consist of a hybrid bus/tank that is allowed to run over all cars on the road. It will be free and have a bike rack.
5. Dance parties will be outlawed.
6. The price of all public performances of music and art will be capped at $5. Fugazi will be in charge of enforcing this law.
7. Water fountains will now only shoot out coffee.
8. PBR will come only in 40 oz.
9. Glenn Beck, Sean Hannity and Bill O'Reilly will be encased in bronze and shot into space. Their egos will not survive.
10. The faces of Mount Rushmore will be changed to the Blue Man Group.
11. A shrine, aka the Lincoln Monument and the Jefferson Monument, shall be changed to George Carlin and Patton Oswalt Monuments. Respectively.
Anyone who objects to the new laws of RADicalism will be placed into camps where they will be fed well and forced to listen to Black Flag until they get how badass we are as Supreme Rulerz.
Alright guys, are you guys all listening? You've had yourselves one crazy summer so far and now that its coming to an end, I'd thought you'd like to hear how a bunch of drunk punk rockers from Albuquerque feel about it. You beat Mexico, lost to Costa Rica, and then had to come back against Honduras before we all took a trip to South Africa.
Holy shit, right? I thought you guys stood a good chance against Italy in the first half before everything broke down at the beginning of the second half. (BTW, FUCK YOU, Giuseppe Rossi! You were born in America, asshole. DPD has you marked as a dead man.) But that game against Brazil, dudes. Ouch. Its excusable to lose 3-0 to Brazil, but you have to go out and try to win the game. DaMarcus Beasley, you done fucked up. Here, lets watch how you gift Brazil on their second goal.
You're too old now, man. Make room for better, younger players.
Then came the 3 best games I have see the US Team play since the 2002 World Cup. You beat the pants off of an Egypt team that had been on a roll. I mean, the beat Italy the game before. Fuck! Great job! Then you upset the top team in the world. Spain hadn't lost in 35 games. That includes victories over Germany in the Euro 2008 Final. Shit yeah! Awesome, bra! You guys worked your ass off to get us to the first FIFA Final the US Mens team has ever been in. EVER. Sick. If we lived anywhere else, we'd of all flipped cars and burned everything down in celebration. As it was, we had to deal with that dipshit Jim Rome talking about how no one cares. Death to America.
In that final rematch, you guys made DPD proud. It was heartbreaking to see that final Goal by Lucio. And Clint Dempsey, we all teared up with you as you accepted the Bronze Boat for being the 3rd best player in the Tourny. You rule, man. Keep scoring big goals against Chelsea and you might win the Most Valuable Dude trophy at the end of the year. Great job guys.
I would talk about the Gold Cup, but who gives a shit. Aside from Stuart Holden, the US B and C teams looked pretty weak. Enjoy the win Mexico, because they're coming back for ya with the big dawgs. w00f w00f.
August 12th, in Mexico City at Azteca Stadium, Mexico will finally lose to the USA in Mexico. I'm viewing the performance of the US team in this game as the measuring stick for how far the US has come this summer. Are we still going to be unoraganize and pathetic for the first 15 minutes of each half? Are we still going to play like a bunch of 10 year olds that just got dropped off by their mom at practice when they play outside the US? Hopefully, you've all matured enough as a team and individual players to make all of us at Dudes Punching Dudes proud. Kick some ass, dudes.
The last two days have involved DPD trips to Santa Rosa, NM to get my stupidly awesome RV. I wish I had a grandma in Santa Rosa. It's such an ill little New Mexican town. Its also home to my favorite place in NM, The Blue Hole. You can read the wikipedia entry on it, or you can just know that its a deep as shit hole in the ground with some cold as fuck water in it. You jump off of rocks into it. It's the only way.
Point being, we have a fuckin RV and a Blue Hole 2 hours away. Sign up for our next outing to The Blue Hole today! We're going on Thursday.
Here's some pictures, fuckers.
The view from the "David Maron Memorial Jump"
Fat kid approved! What are you waiting for? Sign up today!
Ok, so a friend got wasted. He ran around and punched dudes like we all did. Why does the youngest out of us gotta be taken aside and yelled at? Come on. Everyone that faults an Armani for the short show at a Taylair is a fool. A fool and half, I say. We all had a great time and I still am mind boggled by why a dude would stop playing, point out a dude who was moshing at a punk rock show in a small space and make him feel like he was fucking up. THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT IDEA! Lets make punk rock shows an elitist thing! Lets all act like Ian fucking Biggly and his crew of moshbots! Srrsly, lets all point fingers at friends we've known for an age and make them feel awful for getting slightly more drunk than you were.
that's just the way it goes... i hope she gets a new place that we can continue to do things like this. also, if you're reading this and have a place to invite a bunch of drunx you should step up to the plate and learn how to cook and have fun. well, in memorial in this night i'm going to get piss drunk with some good friends and have some great laughs. the realness!
-AssJoose
p.s. christine, i haven't forgotten to finish your tattoo.
fuck that! not to say that it's not funny or anything, kicking the shit out of circular objects is great, however, if you want to kick a ball get one less bouncy, and size 5. if haven't got yet i'm talking about futbol. it's great, and we all realized that we smoke too much... and drink too much... or not enough. i digress: to get to the point D.P.D didn't do to well this game. it was a tied game (2-2) and ceej engine comes running in to make the winning goal then stone wall myles blocks it with is finger tips! what bull shit. if he had made that he would have ripped all our shirts off, oh well.
oh, so we're also going to start a drunk punk soccer league for random nights and sundays. find us and play.
Name: Resin and Coffee aka Armani Duties: Making pots of coffee, working at Cliffs, scraping the shit out of every pipe Quote: "If we get pulled over, I'm 12 and this thing is full of MicroMachines" Armani is looked up to by all DuDads
Name: AssJoose aka AJ Duties: Being pretentious, stick and poke tattoos, waking up drunk Quote: "I WIN!" AJ punches dudes and asks no quarter in return.
Name: Rom-err-oh aka Chris Duties: Extreme Bocce Ball, Waking up at 1 in the afternoon, Buying weed with checks Quote: "Ya caught me." Chris Rom-err-oh's come from a strong family of party dudes. They are known to not fuck around.
Name: Furious sMyles aka Myles Duties: Finding weed, down to do anything, getting sloshed and drumming Quote: "I don't give a fuck." Myles comes from the Westside. Don't let that fool ya.
Name: Pickett. The steamed one. Duties: Showing up at inappropriate hours, waking up when he smells weed, drinking gin and punching girls. Quote: "Who the fuck ate my Wheat Thins!!!" Picketts are not to be trifled with. And don't even think about eating their fucking Wheat Thins.
Name:Ceej Engine AKA C.J. Duties: finding the ragers, bad ideas, Polythythms Quote: "get the fuck out of my room" i mean she was really hot...
There are more Dudes that Punch Dudes, but we only had time for these fuckers. Get with it. Burn stuff down this summer.
To anyone who gives a shit about drunken punk rock shows: Fuck your plans for June 5th. There cant be anything more worth your time than drinkin some beers, smokin some weed, and watching Loma Prieta, Adobe Homes, and Pickett play some exceptionally great music at the all infamous Taylair with, who other than the members of DPD. Kick off your summer 09 with a kick ass time. See some great bands and dont forget to fuck your plans!
-June 5th @ the Taylair- Loma Prieta-Adobe Homes-Pickett
Originally founded by Jacob Best in 1844 as Empire Brewery, the Pabst Brewing Company continues to this day to supply dudes with their essential cheep beer. Their signature beer, Pabst Blue Ribbon, was originally called "Best Select" when it was introduced in 1875. Since then, countless beers have been shotgunned and dumb decisions have just gone off the hook.
They seriously used to tie ribbons around the neck of "Best Select" back in the day. How fuckin awesome is that shit. Anyhow, that's how ya get the "Blue Ribbon" part of PBR. In 1893, it was awarded a medal at the World Columbian Expo. There's a bunch of beef about what kinda medal they won. I say thats bullshit. Give em the gold. It was fucking 1893. Get over it.
Tonight, 2 dudes and 1 cup went to rage at Christine's Vegan Wednesday. Dillon got some pussy (kitty*) and chuckles were had all around. Vegan tacos and mad beers happened. We met our rival gang, DUDES WRECKEN DUDES. A huge bunch of assholes. It's time for a good ole fashion knife fight.
so tonight ruled, and it shall soon rule again.
We have successfully overused the word "rule" and "dude". This blog is gonna rule, dude.
-Ceej Engine, Nipple Grinder, da 'nanner grabber, AssJoose
*- Dillon is a bitch.
Welcome to the official blogspot of Dudes Punching Dudes!
This blog was created to inform its readers of various shows, upcoming events, PARTIES and mostly all of the cool shit DPD will be doing over the course of summer 09. Please check back in to see new updates and feel free to tell everyone you know.
