Monday, August 3, 2009

Dear US Men's National Team

Alright guys, are you guys all listening? You've had yourselves one crazy summer so far and now that its coming to an end, I'd thought you'd like to hear how a bunch of drunk punk rockers from Albuquerque feel about it. You beat Mexico, lost to Costa Rica, and then had to come back against Honduras before we all took a trip to South Africa.

Holy shit, right? I thought you guys stood a good chance against Italy in the first half before everything broke down at the beginning of the second half. (BTW, FUCK YOU, Giuseppe Rossi! You were born in America, asshole. DPD has you marked as a dead man.) But that game against Brazil, dudes. Ouch. Its excusable to lose 3-0 to Brazil, but you have to go out and try to win the game. DaMarcus Beasley, you done fucked up. Here, lets watch how you gift Brazil on their second goal.

You're too old now, man. Make room for better, younger players.

Then came the 3 best games I have see the US Team play since the 2002 World Cup. You beat the pants off of an Egypt team that had been on a roll. I mean, the beat Italy the game before. Fuck! Great job! Then you upset the top team in the world. Spain hadn't lost in 35 games. That includes victories over Germany in the Euro 2008 Final. Shit yeah! Awesome, bra! You guys worked your ass off to get us to the first FIFA Final the US Mens team has ever been in. EVER. Sick. If we lived anywhere else, we'd of all flipped cars and burned everything down in celebration. As it was, we had to deal with that dipshit Jim Rome talking about how no one cares. Death to America.

In that final rematch, you guys made DPD proud. It was heartbreaking to see that final Goal by Lucio. And Clint Dempsey, we all teared up with you as you accepted the Bronze Boat for being the 3rd best player in the Tourny. You rule, man. Keep scoring big goals against Chelsea and you might win the Most Valuable Dude trophy at the end of the year. Great job guys.

I would talk about the Gold Cup, but who gives a shit. Aside from Stuart Holden, the US B and C teams looked pretty weak. Enjoy the win Mexico, because they're coming back for ya with the big dawgs. w00f w00f.

August 12th, in Mexico City at Azteca Stadium, Mexico will finally lose to the USA in Mexico. I'm viewing the performance of the US team in this game as the measuring stick for how far the US has come this summer. Are we still going to be unoraganize and pathetic for the first 15 minutes of each half? Are we still going to play like a bunch of 10 year olds that just got dropped off by their mom at practice when they play outside the US? Hopefully, you've all matured enough as a team and individual players to make all of us at Dudes Punching Dudes proud. Kick some ass, dudes.


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